I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
