i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
