And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
