I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
