Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize