but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
