so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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