Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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