just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
