Dual....:-)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
