hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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