i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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