I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize