If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
