Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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