i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
