paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
