I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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