I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
