It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
