Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
