singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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