I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
