Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
