Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
