Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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