Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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