when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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