plz talk dirty to me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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