We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
is wine microwaveable?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
