no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's like iHOP with fire
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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