I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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