If that was your dad, he is hot
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i think my cat just said my name.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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