whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
40s are totally the cure
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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