If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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