just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize