Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
