Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
