this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
