She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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