Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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