Fine. I'll sleep in my office
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize