I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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