he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
