he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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