clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Randomize
