Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
