well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
