Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
