just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
