Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Me too!
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize
