i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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