Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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