Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
