Please, let me fuck your mom
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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