he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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