So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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