Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
