the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
