girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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