if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Randomize
