I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
