I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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