I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
