Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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