It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize