Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
