I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
