Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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