who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
