think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
