I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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