if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
